Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

This thing is getting kind of gay. It's not that I don't want to do it. It's that there really isn't anything to write for days like this where I feel like I never wronged anyone that hard. There might be one or two people that I messed up inadvertently, but I feel like apologies and hugs have been exchanged.

Starting today, I'm just going to skip whatever days that I don't really have anything to write about.

In other news, I have decided that I am going to pre-read and re-study some of the biochemistry and the anatomy that will engulf my brain come August. I've been told and read on forums that pre-reading is a bad idea, but I don't care, so if you're against it, fuck off.

I am beginning to wonder if I swear too much? Eh. Part of me is saying "Harden the FUCK UP" to myself about it.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

No one's really caused me a lot of pain. Maybe my very first girlfriend that I had...but that was to be expected. My mom beat me a lot when I was growing up, but no emotional damage done there. Therefore, this entry is trash. I will edit this later in the future if someone does critical and detrimental damage to my life in the future.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Grandpa (dad's dad),

I really miss you. I really wanted to make you proud by telling you that I got into medical school. I'm really sorry I didn't get there in time. I really wish I could turn back time so that I could work 10 times as hard as I did before, so that you could have seen me achieve my goals before you passed.

Things have changed quite a bit around my house after your passing. Mom and Dad both talk about you often, and they say they miss you too. They, along with everyone else in the family, seem to be treasuring every moment a little bit more. Mom's actually using it as a way of extortion by saying things such as, "Be good to me while I'm still alive. You don't know when I'm going to die." In any case, I think it all stems from all of us missing you so much.

I feel like after you passed, the foundation of our family was shaken a bit. You were the person holding all of us connected.

I really wish you were still alive today. I know you lost those Janggi matches to me on purpose so that I wouldn't be sore about losing. You were the most generous man I have had the pleasure of knowing. I am so glad that out of every single person in the world, you were my grandfather.

Thank you so much. I hope that we can see each other and catch up in the far far future.

With memories and fondness,

Alex

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear B,

I know we didn't always get along and stuff, but I think we'd make good friends now. That said, I wish we could talk and catch up more often than we do now; which is never. I actually don't know what we'd talk about and I'm afraid any conversation we'll have will just get awkward.

Anyway, I heard you're doing well for yourself. Glad to hear that dude. Keep taking care of yourself and keep being good at being you.

-A

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Dear Grandpa (Mom's dad),

You passed way too early. I feel like we would have been the best of pals. You were a fishing boat captain, and had 6 daughters and 0 sons. I think you would have liked me, since I was the first son in the family for some time.

I heard a lot about you, but I regret that I never had the opportunity to meet you. So I'm going to become a doctor, grandpa. I'm going to do it and I will try to give other people the opportunity to meet and create memories with their grandchildren. Although I couldn't meet you, it doesn't mean that other people shouldn't be able to meet their grandparents either.

Every time I think of you, I imagine those guys on "The Deadliest Catch". Was that how things were, except you were out catching mackerel, tuna, and other random beasts of the sea? Mom told me stories about how you were highly respected. You would hire deckhands but you would give the wages to their wives so that the men wouldn't go waste their earnings on drinks and frivolous things. You would always treat your children with love and devotion despite the fact that you had always wanted a son but only had 6 girls. And even though grandma couldn't (and still can't) cook for shit or didn't do any work around the house, you were okay with coming home after a long trip and picking up around the house.

Grandpa, if I become half the man that you were, I think I'll be just fine. I just wish that we had an opportunity to meet; so that I might have been proud of my grandpa, and that you might have been proud of me.

With longing,

Alex

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Dear Ash,

I know you also want to go to medical school. Here's some advice from one who's been where you are: don't dick around, don't mess around with girls, and save your money.

Dicking around will get you nowhere, actually it gets you somewhere: deep shit. And unless you like being in bad places, stay focused and don't lose sight of the goal.

Girls will do a few things to you in your early 20's. They'll create the illusion in your life that you're happy...then while you're under that illusion, they will plunder you for all your worth - time, money, intelligence, you name it, she's taking it. It's to my understanding that later on in life, not much is different. The only difference is that she won't even try to give you the illusion that you'll be happy. Don't let them do this to you. Stop your online dating habits now.

Money is a funny thing. When you're making it, you have hardly the time to spend it. When you're spending it, it feels you're trading away a pieces of your soul for the item or services tendered. In any case, if you end up in medical school, whether in Canada or USA, you'll go into debt. You will be crushed by a 6 digit number on your shoulders that your own kin will turn a blind eye to. That said, save your money. Don't spend frivolously on random shit like I've been doing. Thank God there's some money left in my bank account.

Ash, I love you man. Just stop the long-distance, MSN messenger, online relationships with RANDOM ASS girls and I think you'll be really well off.

With friendship,

Alex

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Dear W,

We had a lot of fun together, didn't we? I thought it was really cool that we could keep in touch afterwards too, just as friends. We've actually talked just two weeks ago, although our "relationship" ended over a year and half ago. You're a really cool person.

But lately, I've been feeling that we've been drifting apart as people. I still love the fact that you're so driven to stay active in the community as well as personally, but I have a hard time sometimes identifying with your motives.

As a friend, I want to be honest with you. You are vain, superficial, somewhat materialistic, and full of avarice. Maybe you're the more honest between the two of us and you can outrightly say that you're driven by the desire for wealth, but I want to believe that there's more to life than money.

I have a feeling that the most recent time we talked on the phone was the very last time we will talk on the phone. In case I don't hear from you, and you don't hear from me, take care of yourself. Eat well, try to get more iron in your body (I know you're anemic), don't worry about your body so much (your body is killer!), and try not to laugh out loud at people who look less fortunate than you (your sense of humor was always interesting).

With best wishes,

Alex